You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
