i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
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