My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
So squirting runs in the family.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
