But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I want you more than these girls want KFC
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize