When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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