you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
The struggles of a small town man whore
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
