my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Randomize
