I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize