I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
You can't just leave with hair like that
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
