I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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