What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
i black out too much to be "responsible"
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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