Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Randomize
