But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
