i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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