I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
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