I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
