whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
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