With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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