btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
