i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
