We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Pants are for mortals
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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