I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Randomize
