Are we in a gay sports bar?
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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