He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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