My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
