I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
