cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Randomize
