she was so not down for the gang bang
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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