he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
