tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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