I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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