I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
