they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
