I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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