WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
COCAINE IS GR8
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
