Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
