Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
