Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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