She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
My day in three words: secret purse cake
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
