Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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