she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
