brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
