He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Randomize
