I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
