Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize
