Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
