you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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