youre lurking in front of me
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
