is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
