I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I just gargled with NyQuil
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Randomize
