What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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