I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
