I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
