I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
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