just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
