Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Randomize
