How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
