if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
