if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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