I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
