goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
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